


Chase The End || Thiam Week Day 1

by orphan_account



Series: Thiam Week 2017 [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Depression, M/M, Suicide Attempt, Thiam Week 2017, implied self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 22:43:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12309402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Theo deserved to live, even if he didn't think so.--Thiam Week 2017: Day 1 - Hurt/Comfort





	Chase The End || Thiam Week Day 1

**Author's Note:**

> I AM AWARE HOW LATE THIS IS IM POSTING THEM ALL TONIGHT FUCKING FIGHT ME
> 
> also i love me some sad things.  
> Trigger warnings for suicide attempts and depressive thoughts. Please read the notes at the end for more on this.

He was chasing ends, specifically his own.

When the wounds heal and the pain never lasts, there's nothing to distract Theo Raeken from the thoughts overtaking his brain. When your bed is an old sheet in the back of your truck and your family is fake and dead, there's nowhere for you to run or hide. 

He's reaping what he sowed. The fallout of his actions caught up and really, Theo Raeken knows that this is what he deserves. 

He's a murderer. A manipulator. No amount of self-help can change what he's done. 

The voices are so loud, Theo can't sleep anymore. He sees his mother, his sister. He sees the faces of doctors, Tracy and Josh, his mind replays visions of Scott, watching with cold malice as Tara drags him to hell, crying and pleading for him. 

He doesn't eat- not that he really could. He lives underground, when he wants to be alone and where the pack can't track his truck. 

He has no one, he is no one. Nobody wants him. Nobody needs him. He could die and no one would notice the disappearance of Theo Raeken. 

So he stood on the bridge where she died, where his perfect evil blossomed into his veins like a disease. Wolfsbane couldn't kill him. A gunshot would heal. But even a chimera's lungs couldn't heal without oxygen. It was a fitting fate for a monster like him.

His fingers tapped on the rotton wood, staring down at the freezing water. He couldn't bring himself to cry. He couldn't feel anything anymore, and now he wouldn't have to. 

The bridge creaked quietly, beckoning him closer to the edge. He brought a shaking hand up to his chest, gripping onto his shirt. The frost that had settled on the wood crunched under his shoes, while Theo leaned further from the ground.

"You want it back, don't you." He growled. His grip on his shirt tightened, ripping holes through the fabric.

"I know you want it back- you can have it back! You can have all of me now!" He yelled into oblivion, eyes glowing and shimmering with tears. A moment of clarity flushed over him, before he released his hand. "You won. You all won."

And then time stopped and gravity pulled Theo Raeken through the air, ice like needles digging into his skin, his chest growing heavy as he sank, lungs screaming for life. His skin burned cold, and his stolen heart beated wildly through his dying body. 

She was there. Waiting for him. 

Theo closed his eyes, letting the lightheaded sensation overtake his body. 

_Hi Tara._

_Hi Theo._  
_Welcome home._

_Theo. Theo!_

A bright light replaced the darkness flooding his eyes, a blurry figure hovering through the soft distorted view of the water. Ringing through his ears drowned out the sound of Tara's voice, and the crying, panicked beckoning of another voice echoed through his body. 

Warm. Despite the freezing water soaking his clothes, Theo felt so warm. It started in his lips, and spread through his cheeks, then his neck and finally stopped over his heart. 

Coughing. Theo was coughing up water, and his lungs began regenerating cell by cell once the oxygen coarsed through his system. His vision slowly shifted back onto the hovering form, the blur vanishing and Theo was staring down a pair of blue eyes and felt a warm body pressed against his own. 

"Thank god! Fuck, fuck you! You scared the shit out of me." The voice said. 

Theo was still dizzy, and trying to comprehend what had just happened. Before he could come to a conclusion, he was being hoisted off the cold forest ground and dragged along somewhere. 

"Theo, stay awake. Stay awake, please." 

"..."

"Theo, come on!"

Liam.

_Liam._

He tilted his head to look at his rescuer. 

Dark brown hair messily pushed back over his blue eyes. Panicked, parted lips red from the cold, a red cut already healing over his chin. His clothes were cold and damp, but he kept moving, never faltering for anything. 

And suddenly Theo was back in that stupid goddamn truck, a painful reminder of all the reasons why he should be at the bottom of the river, and not wrapped in Liam's arms. 

A jacket, then a blanket, then the roar of an engine, and the warmth from the heater. Theo was wrapped in warmth, his warm body housing a cold, stolen heart.

Hands gripped the sides of his face, steadying his gaze to the younger. 

Liam was crying. Shaking his head and crying, his breath catching every time they made eye contact. 

"What ar-" Theo tried to talk, but his throat felt heavy, and his words became wrung out, like a towel. 

"Shut up, shut up! Don't talk to me, don't talk at all!" Liam spat. His hands quivered on Theo's skin, as he gritted his teeth and continued to cry. Theo had never seen Liam cry. It was uncomfortable and awkward, but mostly, it was heartbreaking. 

"Why did you do this? Why are you still doing this? Just let me go-" Theo began, pulling himself from Liam's grip, before he was met with a sudden sting of pain across his face. Liam smacked him across the cheek, silence filling the truck. 

"Whatever you think of yourself..." Liam's voice was barely above a whisper, lips trembling again. "Whatever you think you are, or what you think you deserve..." Liam pulled his head up again, locking cloudy eyes with the chimera. 

"You're wrong." Liam spoke, solemn and intense. Theo wanted to shake his head, kick Liam out and go to sleep so he could never wake up. 

"You don't deserve this. No one- especially someone who has made such an effort to change, to be _somebody_ deserves this." 

Theo couldn't process what he was hearing. 

"No... no you don't... You just don't want Scott to-" Theo was cut off again, this time with Liam pulling him into a kiss, opposed to a slap. It was quick and fleeting, and Theo cursed himself for wishing for more. He didn't deserve more, and he certainly didn't deserve Liam.

"You- you don't understand, do you?" Liam hissed. "You can't- if you were gone, I'd go out of my fucking mind." 

"You didn't seem to care before." 

Liam shook his head angrily. "How am I supposed to get it through your head, huh? When you're never around, avoiding me, avoiding everyone!? How am I supposed to tell you how much I care about you when all you do is push people away!" Liam shoved Theo's shoulders, pushing him against the car door. 

"You're my anchor. Everytime I'm angry or alone, you're there. Maybe not physically, but I can feel you there. Even after you left, I can still feel it. I can feel _you_ there." Liam had calmed down, but Theo was still completely and utterly confused.

"I-" 

"Come home with me. For one night, even if it's just one. Please." 

\--

Theo knew he didn't deserve this, wrapped in Liam's arms, in a warm bed and dry clothes, with a full stomach and with the love and care of another person. Maybe he didn't deserve a lot of things, but starting that night, Liam was sure that he was going to show Theo that he deserved one thing, no matter what. Theo even said it himself, back in the bathroom all those months ago, with Gabe. 

_Keep people alive._

Theo deserved to live.

**Author's Note:**

> with all my works dealing with these topics: please know that you are never alone. we all deserve a liam in our lives, and we all deserve to be happy.
> 
> The national suicide prevention hotline:  
> 1-800-273-8255


End file.
